Greetings Readers!!

Now, in case you didn’t already notice, this is NOT the original writer of the blog!! No, this is her lovely daughter and fellow lover of words: SFM!! You will have seen that a few of my photos have been on the blog and I’m so glad to share them with someone other than my Facebook friends….

Any-woo! I was asked by my mom if I would be a guest writer on here and I said I would love to (that’s what that ninja hugging the heart meant, btw) and I was given the task of writing a piece with the word “burn” in it. I accepted the task………and promptly had one of the worst days in a while.  Suffice to say I completely forgot about the blog and dealt with my crappy day in the worst possible way: by yelling at my daughter and mentally yelling at my husband and making him feel bad whenever we talked—which wasn’t often—because I forgot to tell him my plans for the day the night before.

I can see that look of shock of horror or disdain on your face! AND I can hear those thoughts of how I’m both a terrible mom and wife!! Let me explain something to you before you call CPS on me: I did NOT actually YELL at my daughter, but I did say somethings I shouldn’t have and I apologized afterwards. Yes, I apologized to my 5 year-old daughter for MY attitude!! I practice what I preach sometimes. I won’t go into detail on everything that she did or didn’t do, but most people who know my Boo will know that whenever she has something to say nothing can stop her from saying it. Let’s just say that, when I was trying to talk to someone or listen for something she would constantly interrupt me or the other person to say what was on her mind.  This is one of my pet peeves……even though I do it myself and hate myself AS I’M DOING IT!!! So as you can imagine, she’s constantly interrupting me and I’m getting frustrated and end up saying something I shouldn’t. And with my husband, whom had been awake since 3 pm yesterday and had to be at work at 7 pm to work till 7 am TODAY had been awake for more than 24 hours by the time I got my errands done, I got upset with him for working on the boat we were borrowing for the Fourth of July at the river and not coming to pick up our daughter to get her out of my hair and so I could get some me-time! I know, sitting here writing this and thinking about my day and what verse I’d like to include in this blog, that I’m a selfish wife that needs a kick in that head!!

My husband is an amazing man and I often think he can do everything and I forget that he is human just like me and you.  Whenever I think of something happening to this awesome guy, I think, “Where in the world am I going to find someone that puts up with my crap and calls me on it AND loves me almost as unconditionally as my God does?!?!” I CAN’T stand myself sometimes!!!!!!  So, anytime I thought of him today or talked to him, I got angry because he didn’t do what I wanted him to be doing or expected him to be doing: which was reading my mind and knowing what I needed from him this day.  *Shaking of the head sadly*

I haven’t yet asked his forgiveness for the way I thought of him or how I spoke to him yet because he came home, talked to his dad on the phone for a few minutes before eating dinner then went straight to bed and promptly fell asleep before nine o’clock.  I will talk to him in the morning after we all get up and get ready for church in the morning.

The verse that I chose and that made me tell you about my thoughts and actions of the day is Psalms 39:3-4 from the American Standard Version and it reads:

My heart was hot within me; While I was musing the fire burned: Then spake I with my tongue: Jehovah, make me to know mine end, And the measure of my days, what it is; Let me know how frail I am.

WOW!  I can’t even explain how deeply the feelings of sorrow and disappointment I felt reading these verses!! How did I come across them, you ask? Easy: I looked up the word fire, because I found nothing that hit home with the word burn or burned and yes I do see the word burned in this second verse, but I looked at a different version for that word and this verse didn’t come up.

Let me know how frail I am. This is the part that hit home the most, for as easily as someone looking away for a second while driving or me accidentally inhaling food or even a bug or whatever, my life could have ended and that would have been it!! I’m in tears at this moment thinking of how my life could have ended without me telling my daughter and husband that I was sorry for what I said or didn’t say or that I loved them!! How I didn’t write this sooner for my mom and tell her how I’m proud of her for doing this kind of thing, for getting outside her comfort box and putting her faith and thoughts out there for people to see and agree or disagree!! I’m proud of you Mom for doing this and sharing your knowledge your way!!

My days are measured and even though I don’t know my last, I want to try my best to be what I was created to be: a mother; a wife; a daughter/in-law; a friend; a sister/in-law!! I want to know that when my end does come that everyone that knew me will say that I lived and extruded God’s love and values as a true follower of Christ should.

Judge me on my actions……..go ahead. I know I am not perfect because if I was I’d be dead and in Heaven with my God!! I will do things that are right and wrong, I will make so many mistakes and repeat my past ones also, I will be stubborn and not listen to advice when I should have. But I will also remind myself that even though these things happen, I have a God, a family and many friends that love me despite these wrongs of mine and I know that I am forgiven and try to forgive in return.

I often need reminding that my time is short and these verses are the perfect (non-deadly) way to do just that!!

Our days are short! Let the fire of the Holy Spirit continue to burn in your hearts, fellow followers of Christ. For the non-followers, I pray you find that fire soon because no matter how healthy you are or how cautious you live or if you think that if you live to one hundred you can ask for Him to save you on your deathbed and He’ll save you then (which He will) you’re good!! You don’t know when your end will come, plain and simple. I know that if I died in my sleep tonight that my family knows I love them because I said so and that I will go to Heaven…..that’s the end of my intense witnessing!!

Even though I don’t know you, I love you and wish you a joy filled life!!

 

SFM!!

Gaining strength though our fellowship.

“That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.” {1 John 1:3 KJV}

Photo by ff (cropped)
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2 thoughts on “Let me know how frail I am…

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